A Slice of Life

      As he hobbled hurriedly along the path through his garden, gathering plump, spotted slugs and various darkly hued mushrooms into his basket, Culprit thought that the hour must surely be getting late.  When he'd first begun his humble harvest, a rhythmically pulsing menagerie of fireflies had been swarming about the outside of the cabin, bathing the grounds and the garden in their lovely, spastic green.  But what had been a shimmering, shivering wash of hollow light, faded down to only a twinkle here, a twinkle there. He figured he'd best get back inside and check the clock.  His basket had grown well fat with fleshy, little, gray jewels and there was much still yet to be done.  A clinging vine of early autumn rot scented the sporadic winds, aiding their chill.  With his free hand, Culprit tugged his burlap cloak a little tighter around him as he quickly crept back to his shack.

      A string of bones clattered and knocked one another as he thrust open the crooked, wooden door. He heard the door creaking loudly before banging shut against the frame as he read the time from the towering clockface that he had rigged into the west wall.  Another rattle from the bones chimed like a cuckoo as the minute hand struck.  10:30.  Good. There was still time, but he would have to work expediently and  efficiently.

      He set his basket on the small, scarred wood table and hung his cloak on the nail by the door. Picking an iron poker from its stand, he stoked the fire below the cauldron in the hearth.  The paler tentacles surrounding his mouth writhed into a smile. His concoction was coming to a boil.  He scooped up an armful of wooden doll parts from the pile stacked against the front wall of the hearth and threw them onto the fire. They caught fast as paper, burned slow as coal.  Culprit drew a deep breath into his lungpalps of their moist, tangy smoke and smacked his forked tongue against the roof of his mouth.  He grabbed his basket from the table and began emptying its contents into the bubbling brew, occasionally impaling particularly juicy slugs on one of his claws to suck on like candy.

      "Oh yes, you are a fat one aren't you?"

      From beneath the shadowed recess of the north wall he heard tiny whimperings, but paid them little mind.  He had known they had not escaped while he was in the garden.  It was a good twine with which he'd severed their muscles and stitched around their bones. He had braided up the whole spool from boar's mane and it was some of his best.  Not that they would appreciate it.

      When his basket was empty, he took up the long-handled spoon and stirred.  He brought a small amount of broth to his mouth, blowing away the steam before slurping it up.

      "Yes, good, yes, but perhaps eh…"

      Culprit bumbled over to the cupboard.  He swung the door open carelessly, causing a noisy clanging of glass to ride into the air on a dry plume of spice dust.  He pointed his finger and ran a long, curved nail across labels taped to jars and bottles arranged so haphazardly that it was difficult to find anything at all.  Sometime soon, he thought, he really must get more organized.  This whole place really needed a woman's touch.

      "Ah, there you are! I found you! You tried to hide from me didn't you?  Tried to blend into the crowd, yes, but I found you! I found you!"

      A healthy sprinkling of crushed molt of cicada. The powdered licorice root, a dash here, a tad there. And parsley, yes, she likes parsley.  A heaping tablespoon of parsley.  Make that two.  Yes.

      He stirred the mixture gently, lulled by its heady aroma, preparing to taste a small sip as he heard the worn clockwork grinding away another minute. Nervously, he tapped the wooden spoon on the kettle's rim and staggered over to check the time.

      10:39.

      "Damn!"

      Muffled screams were startled from the north wall at his outburst.

      "Oh yes, just a minute, kiddies, just a minute. I haven't forgotten about you, don't worry, don't worry."

      Culprit felt their eyes upon him as he tottered toward his hollowware cabinet.  He knew they were watching him bring down the pale clay bowls he planned to set the table with.  Watching as he laid out placings for two.  Between them, a larger bowl and a sort of gravy boat.  Both, ornately decorated in a carven frenzy of strange, enigmatically entwined worms.  A couple of grimy, sloping goblets, some crooked and bent utensils, a sticky adipocere candle and a fiasco of violet wine crowded for the table's only remaining space.

      He rustled over to a wash basin set low on the east wall, above which hung a jagged piece of filmy, gold-veined mirror.  The basin was a bit rusty, being a found object like the mirror and much of the décor, even the enormous clockface.  All sorts of things got lost or abandoned in these woods.  All sorts.  He noticed, wriggling his burrower's claws in the belly of the basin, that the tepid water it held had taken on an orangish hue.  Lot of iron in the water out here, he thought, combing his wet, thick curled nails through his long beard of oily black and golden tentacles, scratching at the paler ones beneath, as he checked his features in the mirror.   

      It was easy to see that the landmarks of aging had taken root in his appearance.  His vestigial eyes were long gone and it was plain that his skin was not as smooth or slimy as it used to be.  He wet his hands again and slicked back the few hairs, thin and fine as spider's web, that sprouted from his elephantine scalp.

      "My, but you are still a handsome devil, aren't you?  Yes, yes I am, thank you."

      Freshly groomed, Culprit made note of the time as he moved shakily to the fire.  10:45.  He took the gravy boat by the handle and dipped it into the bubbling cauldron, scooping up some of its fragrant, soupy mixture.  He breathed its delicious steam as he strained to reach a turkey claw from the bundle of them he had tied to the hearth's mantle.  He would have to move those down.  The hump on his back was becoming more pronounced these days and it was difficult sometimes to reach higher things.  No time now.

      The turkey's foot aerated the liquid like a whisk as he shuffled back toward the north wall.

      "Well, kiddies, how do I look?"

      The children stared at their captor in blank horror.  Plump things he had been stuffing full of sweets and sugared fat since he had found them early yesterday evening.  Cold and hungry, lost in these woods, the grubby little scoundrels had traipsed right into his house, big as you please, when the Culprit was not in.  He was, however, delighted to see them upon his return.  So much so that he had offered them his warmest hospitality.  They were frightened by his appearance, but his words were kind.  When they saw that the food he offered them was wholesome and hot, undoubtedly feeling the chill fleeting from their bones, they had decided that his face was not too horrible, his twitching claws not too long or sharp. 

      Once they had settled in and relaxed a bit, he had even asked them their names, muttering of how lonely he was and how nice to have company.  The boy, he remembered, had spoken for both his self and his sister.  But, truth be told, what he said was quickly discarded from Culprit's mind.  Such strange business individually naming these whiny, piggish animals.  He had tried not to forget before the tincture of valerian with which he had mickeyed their stew carried them into its heavy embrace.  Let's see.  Hilda and Gerald?  No, no, no.  Holly and Grackel?  No.  Oh, uh…Handle and…no, no, that's not it either.  Ah, yes, yes, I know.  Kiddies.

      He had taken to calling them that in their unconscious state as he strung boar's mane twine from the appropriate bones to their respective controls. Somewhat of a grueling process, really, for someone with his nervous condition.  His fingernails were so long that they often got in the way of his grabbing the needle in the correct place.  As a result, he had pricked his fingertips numerous times, drawing up many a dot of brass colored blood to peek out from beneath the children's thin, red fluid.  Oh well, perhaps she wouldn't notice the scabs.  She may even think him valiant if she did, realizing the pain he had gone through for her.

      Culprit looked at the kiddies for a moment longer, wondering if they would even try to answer through their tightly gagged mouths.  If he removed the gags, he knew, they would only say things like scary, ugly, gross.  He saw they would be of no help after all.  He would have to rely on the mirror's flattery.

      The gravy grew a substantial foam as the turkey claw splashed about in it steadily, furiously.  He cupped some of the thick liquid in the claw and flung it on the children.  Their wide, watery eyes watched him in disbelief.  He chuckled to himself, thinking of how absurd his actions must seem to them.  He moved quickly, but not so much that he couldn't appreciate the spectacle of sparkling tears in the firelight, trickling down the children's cheeks, comingling with the streaked jewels of ruby-gray marinade.  Beautiful, it never failed to make him sigh.  Like her.  Maghara. Must hurry.

      The moment he felt they had been sufficiently dowsed in his savory sauce, he shambled, stage left, toward a towering tangle of rusting gears, chipped keys, crooked pipes, and bulbous stops that sprouted from the thing like groupings of unhealthy fungus.  He called it a Malliope.  It was assembled with materials gathered from a place he knew, where the travelling carnival he once called home had dumped off their damaged and unusables, like himself, at the edges of a wide, dirt path.

      It took considerable effort to loosen the crank that protruded from its side, but once set in motion, Culprit wound the instrument joyfully, faster and faster.  A few pestilent notes escaped gurgling before the thing clanked and shook to life, animate in seizure.  It farted and belched thick, deformed tones that tasted hollow and acrid at their center.

      The children heard a scraping rattle from behind them, like a rollercoaster starting up a hill.  They felt the twine tighten around their bones.  The cross-like controllers their appendages were strung to, rolled along respective railings into the overhead position.  The strings pulled taut, lifting the children a few inches from the floor of the stage, dragging them forward.

      Having cranked the handle as far as he could turn it, Culprit stepped back for a moment to enjoy the show and soak in the sweet music of the Malliope. The limp bodies of the children danced violently as the twitching controls tugged and yanked at their strings.  The little girl's eyes bulged comically. Her gag had grown wet and slightly yellowed with the vomit that leaked from the corners of her mouth.

      Culprit read the clock.  10:52.  He looked to the north wall, behind the children, for signs of change, but found only the usual wood slats. Irritated, he grumbled over to the Malliope and gave it a good, swift kick.  It resonated like a diseased church bell while Culprit returned to examine the wall once more.

      Yes, yes, damper now.  It warped in that spot and bulged in this one.  Culprit wrung his hands in anticipation, anxiously waiting for the first one to emerge.  A meaty coil of wormflesh broke the surface tension of the wall.  The Malliope drew them out slowly, luring them from their home with music that promised them a feast of human childflesh.  Culprit jumped about, giddily clapping his hands.  The Malliope's imitation of the walldwellers' song was fair and flattering for a clunking piece of machinery and he was proud of his creation.

      That the walldwellers understood his pleas was sufficient enough reward, but the way they entwined their humming voices through the disjointed melody, like hungry vines weaving a strangling tapestry from which no bloom could healthily escape, swelled his frantic, inky heart with awe.

      The wildly flailing children couldn't see that the wall behind them had become a wriggling cesspool, overrun with bloated serpentry, but surely they sensed the curling ophidian presence of the many at their backside.  Culprit hoped that the constant jerking motion of the marionette controllers would keep his puppet children conscious so that they might enjoy this starving symphony, even if they couldn't feel the sniffed appraisal of their tender bodies by the frogskinned and betentacled figures lurking beyond their sight.

      Culprit turned to see the time.  10:55.  Slipped through his claws, it had.  Now left to finish his preparations was a measley five minutes.  The dance would have to come to a close without so much as a bow.  He stomped the return pedal at the base of the Malliope and watched as the controllers rattled and dragged the convulsing puppets into the waiting mire of famished slithering.

      The gagged faces of the children contorted with a pained and hopeless wonder for what had become of them as raspy, lamprey toothed mouths adhered to their buttocks, hips and thighs, burrowing needled tongues into the sweet fat they found there.

      The walldwellers glutted themselves ravenously, enchanted with such young meat.  They drank deeply of the children's fear and confusion, even as they oiled their movements with the ruby juices of their prey. And, oh, how they sang!

      Culprit gathered the large bowl from the table and waited patiently for the first sprouting of his promised bounty.  A fleshy bubble of palest chartreuse flowered from the slathering swarm of brilliant, eyeless gray, followed quickly by a second and a third.  As he climbed onto the stage, scenes of carnival consumed Culprit's senses.  The scent of the walldwellers, like long dead meat beneath a cocoon of cotton candy from which countless maggots threaten to burst, provided such lovely accompaniment to the sickly circus tune wretched from the belly of the Malliope.  And now, the sight of the walldwellers' eggs, plump and rich, hanging against the writhing wall, ready to be plucked, reminded him of throwing darts at bright balloons in a small booth on the midway.

      He breathed a nostalgic sigh as he began his harvest, enjoying the giving, rubbery texture of the eggs between his fingers.  Perhaps he would take her to a carnival one day.  Take her on all the rides, win her some prizes.  Yes, she would like that.

      The walldwellers had produced eleven eggs before the Malliope wound down to a rhythm too slow to hold their attention.  That should be enough for the two of them and, besides, he hadn't the time to wind it again.  He allowed the walldwellers to retreat, reimmersing themselves in the watery planks of the wall.

      Leftover pieces of the sacrificed children plunked against the stage with a clatter like falling dominoes.  Their moisture had been sapped, their remains petrified.  After placing the brimming egg bowl back upon the table, slicing into a few of the more lively ones and pouring an ample amount of gravy over the delicacy, Culprit retrieved the shrunken, human doll parts that the walldwellers had left for crumbs.  As he dumped them on the pile of others of their like that sat by the hearth, he heard the distorted chimes of the clock striking eleven.

      He looked about his cabin to ensure that everything was in order.  The gong of the tolling bell droned as he excitedly uncorked the fiasco of violet wine and lit the adipocere candle.  A dancing shamble to the east wall for a last look in the mirror.  He wet his claws once more and swiftly brushed them through his tentacles.

      "Handsome, yes, hand-some devil!"

      The ringing of the final chime was still fading when there came a slow, heavy knock on his front door. Culprit smoothed his hair and dusted off his robes as he headed toward the sound.  He paused for a moment, steadying his eager heart.  He gained his composure, took a deep, calming breath and opened the door.

      She stood before him stiffly beneath the light of the pale moon.  It was somewhat obvious that her spine no longer fit together correctly, touching her posture with mild absurdity.  Her whore's clothing was stained, tattered and garrish and her greyed skin had spots that were in need of small repair.  Her once human eyes may have clouded, but their gaze bore the unmistakable brand of adoration.  She was lovlier now even than the night they'd met.

      "Ah, dearest Maghara.  So nice to see you.  You look absolutely stunning.  Please, do come in out of the chill.  There's a fire going and the table is set. I've made your favorite."

In the Temple of the Doll

     It was the distant glow of a soft green light, constant, different than the swarming fireflies, that guided us through sleep, into the blackness and the brush. The light divided as we approached it, splitting with darkness, becoming two small display windows of a sort, flanking large wooden doors set into the angle of an imposing stone structure. Beneath the windows, a green fire burned inside of unseemly worm-carven urns. Within the windows, strange dolls stood diligent watch behind panes of rheumy glass, guarding the doors of the Temple with an eerie silence. I traced the symbol of the Laughing House upon these doors with the two outstretched fingers of my left hand and saw their postures relax. And we who sought to enter, found that we were already inside.

   The air in the Temple was wrought from the stinging smell of odd, peppery herbs, coating the back of the throat with the pungent tang of green. Before us stood a sinister looking man with eyes of that green, set in deep hollows beneath wildly overgrown eyebrows, waiting to welcome us. We knew this was the Dollmaker and when he bade us, we followed him. At the end of a dark hall we reached a circular room with many shelf-like outcroppings, upon which rested a countless array of dolls, large and small. Dolls of adults, as well as children, mingled with dolls of monstrous things, semi-human and not at all. The shelves themselves and the walls beneath were laid with doll faces of myriad expression and specie in varying stages of decay, embedded in the rock.

   My three companions and I were invited to take our places at the four lower points of a large stone table of seven in the center of the room. Patterns seemed to slither like tiny black snakes within it and engraved upon its polished surface was the seven-pointed puppetstar we had all come to know so well.

   An old woman draped in black and green, wearing a pocketed apron filled with little dolls and bottles, served us small cups made of the same stone, carved with tangles of strange worms like the urns outside. After which the Dollmaker and the Dollpeddlar stood at the upper points and turned their attention upon the altar. As the Dollmaker motioned for us to drink, I could see the clay packed beneath the long fingernails of his left hand.

   The subtle fluid, I dare not say liquid, was imbibed in without question. Sailing like an ether breeze across the palate, glowing like swamp gas, which it may well have been, perhaps mingled with the breath of whippoorwhills. We were told it was Dollsmilk, a gift from Vrt Lrh, whom we all wanted truly to know. I felt it moving through me like the vapor of some strong chemical, lacking the substance of either cold or hot.

   Symbols were drawn upon the air and praise was given to Vrt Lrh, who rises and writhes in the Great Living City Beyond, to the Walldwellers who are the City and the Gateway, and to That which lurks within and watches from behind the eyes of dolls, having no eyes of its own. And the eyes of dolls that appeared to be dumbly staring into some unknown space, now gained focus. Their masks of frozen, vacant expression slowly crumbled into intent, turning their necks like the slow creaking of a heavy door, upon us.

   I stared back into those eyes of plastic and glass and paint and found it there, moving within them like some tarry intelligent gas, black, fluid, twinkling flatly. It almost seemed timid, but it traveled with a threatening swiftness. I felt beguiled to watch it, as if it were pulling at my eyes, at me somehow. Each doll it passed through began to whisper. A whispering I could hear from inside of me. They told me truths and they told me lies. They told me secret things, things about myself, about the past, the present and the future.

   Some of the dolls began playing sweet clockwork music. A chaotic mesh of individual melodies that slowly began circling each other, spinning around each other, finding their place within each other until there was a singular humming,  accented by crackling clicks and high pitched notes that tittered like children laughing backwards. Then the dolls, one by one, turned their attention away from us, to what was happening upon the circular altar in the center of our table, their whispers urging us to do the same.

   Time acted as it should not, its order slipping into unreality. One moment we moved through langour, swimming in our own bodies and in the next instant were cranked through a teeth grinding barrage of events happening too fast, of words spoken too quickly. I could see the expressions of my companions shifting from the pride and honor of being here to agitation, nervousness and fear. I wondered to myself what it was that changed in them. Perhaps they were not expecting this, perhaps they did not like what they were being told, what they were seeing. Or maybe they felt uneasy with the way the Temple walls were moving, shadows writhing upon them, the shapes curling within them like pools of eels. I could sense in some of them a wish to never have come here. A foolish wish to make upon the puppetstar. It was too late for that. We had been invited here, had invited Vrt Lrh here and our guest, our host was just arriving.

   Its image grew before us upon the altar like curls of smoke, whipping about like mad tentacles, or some wriggling root system. Something resembling black mold began splotching the vapor as it extended a thick fleshy stalk, crowned by a black mass of shifting doll faces, something between tar and shadows, emerging and reabsorbed, crying, laughing, screaming, vomiting, whispering. Always the whispering.

   In the presence of this holy manifestation of Vrt Lrh, the dolls of the Temple became excitedly animate. They jumped about and clapped and cheered and gnashed their tiny teeth. They fought and tore at each others clothes and kissed and bit and hit each other, raping and humping with their sexless bodies, cracking fragile hands and faces with tiny weapons. I saw a doll of a girl that had been disrobed, revealing her naked, muslin body and the strings attaching her porcelain head. She stabbed at herself again and again with a tiny knife, like a wind-up monkey banging cymbals, ripping and pulling out her mottled, purplish stuffing, shaking in deathless laughter.

   Other dolls crawled across the floor, up the back of my chair and began gently pulling at little tufts of my hair, nibbling at my ears, whispering again and again a phrase of wisdom from my childhood. “A little boy who won’t be good, might just as well be made of wood.”

   I understood.

   Eyes then opened within my eyes and I was allowed to see. And allowed to see through the ever changing eyes of Vrt Lrh, I watched the transformations begin in my companions. The woman across from me screamed and cried and laughed beyond reason as she pulled the flesh from her skeleton like clay and piled it upon the altar, apparently unable to do anything else. The man beside me found his lips and tongue frozen, petrified. Unable to move his mouth with any more articulation than that of a ventriloquist’s dummy, he uttered a frightened and senseless babble of “Mahb, maaahb, mab”. The other had grabbed a doll and was sucking milk from its teat, becoming smaller... and smaller.

   Dolls had unbuttoned my shirt and I could feel them kissing my chest, running cold little tongues across my flesh and I did not move or try in any way to stop them. I felt my pants come down and little sucking mouths on my thighs, but too many, too close together.

   I looked down to see that the dolls and the altar were gone. In their place, a groping mass of pulpy tentacles suctioned and entwined between my legs, some hidden orifice tugging at me hard, milking me, slithering inside of me. Its body like a bloated tick inside of a raisin, with countless faces writhing in its wrinkles.

   And it spoke to me. It said “I am you.”

   I knew the response in an instant, knew that my companions had been given this riddle and failed. But I had learned the lesson they had not. The clockwork dollmusic became intensely loud and intricate as they traipsed around us, encircling us in a mad, clacking jangle dance on sticky, black strings like the puppets they had become, like the puppets they always were. I gave the response in a whisper.

   "And I am you.“

   The reverberation of words I was not sure I had spoken heralded the calm, the end of the maelstrom. Vrt Lrh had gone, Its laughter still ringing through the walls, shadows returned to their rightful order, all dolls returned to their shelves. My companions had left me. Only a pile of clay remained upon the altar.

   I awoke, kneeling at the altar in my own room with the clay in my hands. I pushed my fingers into it, kneaded it and it sang to me of new life and what was expected of me. I am not to go to that Great Living City just yet. The children of here and there anxiously await my first creation. I must convert others. I must become a Dollmaker. In Its holy name.

Vrt Lrh demands it.

These Things Take Time

    Randall didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, staring at the wall. It hadn’t moved and neither had he, for hours it seemed. He would sit there for many more, if he could. His bones felt heavy and he had no real desire. Sometimes, if he waited just a little longer, his momentary awareness of his situation might pass. But not now. Not tonight.

   She would call for him again tonight. She would peek half of her yellowed face out behind the doorframe and call those dreadful words.

   "Randall, it’s time.“

   He wanted to hate that. He wanted to hate her for making him hate it, for making him do it. But these days it was such a chore to feel much of anything, even hate. It was much easier to just do what she asked and when it was done he could sit, leaving the horrible squalor of this reality behind. But in these sour moments of awareness, of real thought, he was mortified at what had become of him. And what was becoming of her.

     "Randall, it’s time.”

   He leaned in his chair and looked down the hall. His eyes caught Greta’s face peeking out from behind the doorframe and, for an instant, he saw a sparkling reminder of who she used to be. A dark twist of hair hung down the side of her face, curling in the hollow of her cheek. A flicker in her grey eye. Was she smiling? No. Nor did her skin seem as vibrant as a moment before. Her eye had gone flat as the walls. She was growing impatient. He made his slow, uncertain rise from his creaking, wooden chair and moved timidly toward the hall. Greta retreated into the dim light of the bedroom. His legs awakening from a deep sleep, he found it difficult, painful even to creep as he did. He could smell the room at end of the hall, past their bedroom. He knew he would have to clean in there again soon.

   Randall stood in the doorway, his eyes adjusting from the dark hall to the smoked yellow light of the bedroom. How odd, unwholesome it seemed to him now. He only came in here when she called on him for this task. He wasn’t allowed in here at any other time. Hadn’t been since they’d found that first one, years ago, not long after their first child was stillborn. It was her room, not theirs. She had been in here ever since. Piecing together nonsensical devices of what exact purpose or nature, though he had his suspicions, Randall could never quite discern. Nor did he wish to. He left her meals and the materials she requested outside the door. He was supposed to deal with the tenants and the delivery boys. It was his job to pay the bills, maintain the apartments and their bank account.

   He dared not tell her how five of their eleven units had been trashed and abandoned for months, how he had not replaced the tenants and had not bothered to clean. He never spoke to her of the buildings structural problems or the hate mail he received with the existing tenants’ rent checks, calling him a slumlord, complaining of rats and snakes and untraceable, fetid odors. It was his burden to bear, not hers. That was the way she wanted it. That was part of his duty as her husband. Part of his penance for having sperm that gave her a dead child. The dead child that gave her the hollow grief. The grief that caused her condition.

   He looked at his wife, lying stiff, naked on the bed. She had grown _so_ very thin. He hoped it was only the room’s lighting that made her skin look that way. Like jaundiced ash, parched and cracking. Only the light that made her eyes seem to recede, her belly so sunken. But he knew from the large remains of her barely touched meals that she hadn’t been eating well. Leaving the meat, hoarding the bones.

   She stared at him blankly, with her flat, cloudy eyes and slightly ajar mouth, as he wearily undressed beside the bed. He didn’t want to look at her. His eyes pretended to scan the room, but he didn’t really want to see anything else in here either. Old and newly fashioned instruments littered the tops of small tables and shelves and spilled onto the sticky floor, all bearing the slightly disturbed aura of recent use. Bizarre contraptions formed from greasy animal bones, broken mouse traps and baby doll parts, glass ampules filled with dried, white carcasses of strange, many-legged bugs, and the reconfigured innards of countless dismantled music boxes. He had never told her about the similar items he’d found and half-heartedly toyed with in his meandering inspection of the vacant units. He never asked her what these things were for or what caused her to build them. He didn’t want to know what she did in here. He didn’t want to know the morbidity that had afflicted his wife with its touch. He didn’t want to have any understanding of why the air in this room was thicker now than in the rest of the apartment, why the walls seemed so… damp.

   He heard a splashing sound near his wife’s head. Greta’s eyes never moved from him, or the indefinite point in space she was staring at beyond him. He looked past her to the nightstand and for the first time, he saw the jar. He wished he didn’t know what that abhorrent thing in the jar was. Didn’t want to know anything about what it meant that it was writhing in the yellow fluid the jar contained on their nightstand. But he did. He had known before she had even called his name.

   She had coaxed another one of those damned things out of the wall. Kept in her own urine. Blessings, she called them. As was common of these matters, his stomach sort of lurched when he saw this one. He thought that it must have over sixty of those ugly, little eyes. All of them tiny, black, festering, jiggling beads, all engorged in a headskin plum of smooth, purple fat, all leering at him, laughing. He could taste the putrescence of their lust at the back of his throat. He knew he had been promised to it. His muscles tensed and puckered as he watched it swaying its dark, eel-like tail through the yellow liquid, flexing the opulent rings of thorny spines that stemmed from just below the rim of its disgusting, bulbous head.

   "Touch it.“ Greta commanded through tight, barely open lips. As if she thought she might tear her paper skin by opening her mouth any wider. Randall timidly did as she asked, hoping this would be all it took. The past couple of times it hadn’t been enough. He’d had to do the other. The thought made his testicles feel weak and sick.

   All it had taken was a touch, when they found the first one sticking out of the wall that day, years back. Back when he still had a couple of vertebrae and some scattered remnants of dignity. Before she had torn it all from him. He had put death in her womb, she said. Worthless, dead sperm that she swore she could still feel clinging to her insides. Infuriating excuse for a man, spilling his loveless poison inside of her. That was it. He hadn’t loved his wife enough to keep their baby alive. It was his fault. She told him their daughter’s name would have been January. Did he know that? Did he care? she’d  screamed.

   Randall knew that the moment he heard his wife speak their stillborn daughter’s name was the same moment that he lost the ability to gain an erection. And her resentment of him grew into a continuous assault on his manhood. "If you could call it manhood.” she’d said. Pathetic, ugly, puny, limp, dead chickenskin. Any real man could not only get it up and give his wife the beautiful, living baby she deserved, but could give her an orgasm in the process. Randall had never even done that for her, she told him. And he probably never would from the cancerous rot between his legs.

   Randall would just sit there. Day after day, wishing she would stop driving these guilt-tipped nails into his skull. Wanting to lash out at her, scream, something. Yet, he seemed only able to sit there, staring down at his hands in his lap. He knew she was right. It _was_ his fault. Him and his defective equipment.

   The day that they had found the first of those horrid little creatures, Greta had been in the process of, yet another, discourse on his seemingly boundless inadequacy. She had been so infuriated with him. She had smacked his face three times. And when he did nothing to stop her, she grabbed the object his fingers had been fiddling with and smashed it against the wall. Only when dead, twisted tones began to chime, light and sick in the rage-heated air, did she realize what she had broken. The little music box Randall had bought for her and for their child when he found out that she was pregnant. Once upon a time it had played “Somewhere, My Love”, but as it laid there in pieces, the hollow, tin garble that was plucked from it shrieking, as the coil unwound, was unrecognizable as any but the most torturous music.

   This, he knew, would also be his fault. His head sank further into his rib cage, like a turtle retreating into its shell, as he prepared for Greta to spew another unfaltering torrent of blame from the bottomless well that she held in her heart. And, perhaps, she had started to do just that, but few words escaped her lips before she fell into silence. Something else had captured her attention. Over the tops of his eyes, he saw her jerking her head to look around, sniffing at the air or cocking her ear, as if she were trying to capture some distant noise beyond the mockery of the music box ruins.

   He looked up at his wife, almost questioning why she’d stopped. Not that he wasn’t grateful. Greta put a finger to her lips and hushed him, even though he had said nothing. He waited for a moment, confused. Her eyes darted, searching. Then, from some indistinct place, some vague corner of the apartment, he heard it. Like a wet finger skating the rim of a wine glass, yet it left the image in his head that the glass was screaming.

   Out of the corner of his right eye, he saw something. On the wall. A shadow. Moving. Gone. He tried to look straight at it and it vanished. No, wait. Over there. And another on that wall. And in the hall. The walls seemed to be dampening. Though the direct line of his vision still feigned the relative normalcy of a minute before, the horizons and conjunctions of his eyelids told him differently.

   Everywhere in his periphery the walls were crawling, swarming with slithering, dark things, wormy shadows gaining a slow, apparent solidity. His nose was invaded by the scents of licorice, and of rotten cherries, snagging in his throat like noxious, bitter thorns. The screams of the wine glass evolved into a small, backwards, tittering kind of laughter. And the air grew more dense by the second, as if a sort of fog, tepid and invisible, were settling into the apartment. Thick and stifling, making it hard to breathe.

   Randall looked into his wife’s bewildered eyes and she into his. He remembered feeling nauseous, more than just to his stomach. Sick to his soul. Their mouths fell agape with want of speech, but their voices had run from their throats thin, formless. Too hard to speak. Difficult enough to breathe. Just breathe. In. Out. That’s nice. Sighing. So nice. Soothing. Comfortable. Their heads grew heavy and began to loll to the side. Staring at one another, sighing together rhythmically, up to the disfigured, final note of the unwound movement. As the storm of discordant melancholia receded, so, too, did the shadows dissolve into the walls. The fog lifted instantly. The sickly sweet scents of filthy candied things departed from their olfactory. The laughter into a whine. The whine into a hum. The hum into silence. As their normal senses of awareness returned to them, their eyes searched the room for some, for any explanation of what had just happened.

     Greta saw it first. On the wall, by his desk, something like a large slug. They moved closer to inspect it. Smooth, slimy, but not a slug. Not a common one anyway. Neither of them had ever seen a slug with a posterior of plump, fingerlike tubes that degraded into wet, stringy tendrils at their ends. And never one so bright a gray. Randall had poked at it with a pencil from his desk a few times. It didn’t move. Greta had said maybe it was dead. He agreed. He got the point of the pencil underneath the thing, trying to pry it from the wall. It fell. And he caught it.

     He hadn’t intended to catch the thing and he thought that his immediate reaction should have been to drop it. But when it was there in his palm, he realized how much he had wanted to touch it. It had seemed so soft, pliant. Its texture, so full, voluptuous, like the flesh of a baby without muscle or bone. And the gray of it, the rich, sensuous gray of it. Warming in his hand as he stroked it with his thumb. The strangeness of it faded. He turned it between his fingers like a bauble, coming to the conclusion that whatever it was, it was not a whole animal. Where he had pried it from the wall, there was some kind of ruined, fatty material, like a mangled slice of orange and of similar color. And even that had its allure and its rewards for touching it.

   He had squeezed it, played with it, wondering what it tasted like, wanting to feel it give between his teeth. Greta looked at him in shock, but her disgust was only feigned. She shook her head and screwed up her mouth when he said she should touch it. But it didn’t  take much persuading to make her giggle at the grossness of it and admit that she wanted to know what it felt like. He held his hand out, offering the thing for the approval of her senses. She placed her middle finger on it, letting it slide down, petting it, petting as he took hold of her other hand and moved it to his groin.

   She looked up at him wide eyed and a smile crept up her face. Her eyes narrowed and she squeezed his erection hard. He grinned. She licked her lips. They kissed with more passion, more lust than in the whole of their relationship. Tempted to bite each other, wanting to eat each other all the way to the bedroom, clothes quickly becoming scarce.

   Randall remembered that day. The first time he had imagined his wife without bones. A gluttonous, floppy, quivering form of tender moldable flesh, easily contoured to his every desire of her. A pillow of meat in his mind. He could not break her, no matter how hard he threw himself into her, pounded her or beat her with his body. There was nothing to break. And how he wanted to devour that slutty, boneless, debased thing.

   Randall remembered that day. All it took was a touch. The next morning she had told him she was pregnant. She knew it. He doubted that she could know, but she insisted. And indeed she was. It wasn’t so important while she was pregnant, that he couldn’t get it up anymore. They barely wondered what had become of that precious gray slug. They were going to have a living, breathing baby and that was what was important. Until the baby came, living, breathing.

   Randall looked now to the wretched, new wall thing in the jar on their nightstand. His knuckles were white around it, like he was trying to strangle it. It only pulsed and lengthened. His eyebrows wrinkled as he looked down in horror at the shame of his flaccid penis hanging like a dead worm. His eyes, welling with tears, turned up to Greta’s. Hers said “You’re weak.” Her frail, dusty form lied there stiff, unmoving, yet brimming with contempt. He began to cry, simpering and sniffling.

   "Pathetic little boy,“ her voice was full of gravel and glass. "Be an adult, Randall. An adult man knows what has to be done and he does it! So don’t just stand there and piss yourself, you scrawny little shitbag. Our perfect child is waiting. Don’t you want January to be with us?”

   Randall gripped the walldweller in the jar good and tight. He would do it. No matter how degrading. His fleeting manhood could suffer another blow just to quiet her and relieve himself of this accursed awareness, returning him to the elysian fields of his chair, his wall, where a thousand music boxes played at once behind visions of a happy life, a beautiful daughter and a healthy wife. He removed the creature from the liquid and bent at the waist, facing away from Greta. Randall looked down at his feet, watching stray tears splash on his toes. Greta looked at the ring of ten festering, upraised sores around his anus and smiled as her husband plunged the squirming blessing inside himself.

   Randall could feel its sharp spines extend and puncture him. He couldn’t remove it now if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to. The nectar was seeping in. She could see its dark, slippery tail still protruding from him. He turned to her, his eyes alight with an animal ferocity. His erection was raging. She spread her legs with several creaks and pops. He mounted his wife’s breathing corpse, glancing for only an instant at her flaking, yellowed vulva and its sparse, patchy hair before punching himself into it. Dry and rough as sandpaper. It scraped him and hurt, but that was of no matter now. The thing was driving him into her, harder than was possibly comfortable. She just lay there very still. A peculiar cleft was developing on her face, denting the tip of her nose and drawing in her chapped upper lip, revealing the cakey gum area of her most recent tooth loss.

   He saw how easily her face could cave in. How kissing her would be like having a mouthful of ashes. He could feel, he could hear her bones clanking together as he assaulted her, as the creature assaulted him. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to fuck and crumble her little body of brittle chalk into dust and powder. And she just lay there, expressionless, emotionless. He couldn’t hurt her. He couldn’t please her. He didn’t care.

   He came like he was pissing away his awareness into her parched vagina. For a moment, he let his body relax, felt the limp, walldwelling thing slip out of his clutching anus and gave her the full weight of his body. She patted him on the back.

   "You did fine. You did fine, Randall.“

   He knew there was condescendence in her voice, but what did it matter? Again, it was done. That was all she needed from him. She said nothing more to him as he climbed off her, gathered his clothes into his arms and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

   He leaned against the door, in the dark light of the hall, listening to the quiet sobs and mewling coming from the room at its end. He could hear metal clanging, scraping against metal. They were waking up, moving around. The stench was becoming overpowering. He strolled into their room to see how big of a mess he would have to deal with. They would probably be hungry. He hadn’t made them any food in a while. They began to grunt and hoot when they saw him. They moaned and tried to rattle their cages with drooly, unfinished limbs. Their toothless mouths gummed shapeless greetings and hopes that their father had brought them some sustenance.

     Randall looked at the six cages, three stacked on three, and the ominous empty seventh, waiting, with its door sprung open. He gazed upon his children, hairless, sweaty, wriggling, slopping in their own excrement. Each one misshapen, malformed, oddly goatish, calling for him with their sickly bleats. He could never seem to remember their names anymore. Oh, the burden of memory, slipping, like everything else. The one with the head like a bloated prune, he thought, the one with the filmy eyes, the absent spine. That was the first one, he was sure. Little Randy Junior. Didn’t seem to be moving like the others. Just sort of lying there, shaking. The gnats swarmed by his thick lips, lapping up the foamy, pooling spittle. Must still be asleep. Probably in the midst of some spastic dream. He could scarcely remember if either he or Greta had bothered to name the other children. This next one could have a name. This one might be January.

   Randall looked down at his sorry member, dangling, he thought, like a drunk’s head after a vomit. Burning like that. He yawned a heavy lungful of fetid air, bundled his clothes tight against his naked stomach, hugging them pitifully and turned to leave the room. Maybe this one wouldn’t need to be kept that way. Maybe it would be normal. Maybe it would be perfect. Just like Greta wanted.

   For the moment, he was tired. He wanted to rest in his favorite chair, in his favorite place, in front of his favorite wall. He didn’t feel like cleaning in there just now.

The Parable of Evelyn

    Confusion always accompanied Communion. Evelyn had seen golden scissors, a broken clock, animal bones, rusted farm implements and an orphaned puzzle piece on this day alone. All held high by proud hands attached to brows heavily knitted with wonder. Inside each brown paper wrapped package was an object with a lesson for the individual who chose it. Everyone knew that until the lesson was learned, the name would not be called again to receive Communion and no advancement would be made within the Church.
    When brother Ovid had finished presenting the delicate, fractured spectacles he had received, he looked with a nervous, half smile to Evelyn standing next in line. She looked to her feet and moved timidly toward the box. She did not raise her eyes, but as she reached inside she could feel the moist, gentle breath of the White Elephant towering over her. Evelyn felt her hand drawn to the package intended for her by a soft, breathing warmth that radiated from it.
   She sensed the curious eyes of the congregation, of Reverend Godwell upon her as she hastily tore at the brown paper beneath the knowing gaze of the Elephant. The sight of the object bared was difficult for everyone to believe. She held it up for all to see, hope sparkling within her as the Great Hall was blanketed with gasps and murmuring.
    No one had seen such a thing since the purification. Every last one was supposed to have been destroyed in the pyre. Yet what Evelyn held by its supple, plastic leg was undeniably a doll, a baby doll.
   Everyone knew how she dreamed of having a child of her own. Even though she didn’t have a suitor really, her thoughts that weren’t spent in worship or prayer, were consumed with caring for a baby. A healthy, beautiful baby. Suckling it, cuddling with it, singing it to sleep cradled in her arms. But since the plague of deformed, goat-like children and the tragic disease that befell their mothers, the Church had forbidden any attempts at pregnancy, even among long married couples.
   The Reverend Sarnhim Godwell had learned from the White Elephant of the curse on the town of Hatry, of the demons that tempted the flesh to take strange forms here. The congregation must be vigilant, he preached, against any manifestation of the weird wills of these creatures that invaded the walls of their very homes. This was the necessity of the purification.
   Evelyn was there, that day in the Great Hall when the White Elephant, Itself had spoken. Before then Godwell had been Its only voice. But that day the air grew an eerie stillness and the hearts of all attending beat with a clean, new rhythm as the soulrending pipe organ of Its voice fell upon them like a baptism. She felt strings like deep memory, plucked within her by the wisdom of its fingers. 
   It spoke of the horrible sadness of those who waste their lives away wanting, staring at pictures, playing with toys. They listen to demon promises whispered from walls and from dolls, seeking desperately for the false to be made real. That was why they turned against each other, and themselves. And this strange want for inhumanity allowed that very thing to creep into their bodies, into their offspring. Causing the womb to coat with an agar, feeding the sinful wills of the flesh to distort itself from its rightful design and natural uses. Everyone understood this was how the goat children had come to be. And this was why they had to go.
   The faithful of the congregation had to rid themselves of these things, of anything that led one’s thoughts to the objectification of humanity. Lest the brothers become perverts and rapists, the sisters whores and bastard factories.
   The White Elephant had spoken that day and not again. No one questioned Its holy words. The necessity of the purification was understood. The brothers carried out the more unpleasant work, though Evelyn and many of the other sisters had stood watching the fire, scarves covering their noses from the acrid stench of burning hair and cloth, of flesh and plastic and photographic emulsion. Their hands hiding their ears from the terrible bleating.
   A sort of status was gained among the sisters who brought their dolls to be burned. The older, the more beautiful, the more cherished the doll, the greater the show of loyalty, of faith when they threw it to the flames. Evelyn watched dear friends from her childhood, many of porcelain, wood and cloth, catching, bursting with light. Even family heirlooms and pieces from her own hope chest purified to safe, sterile ash. Each one had a name, was a sacrifice and gained her a new measure of respect to be enjoyed in the eyes of her newfound brothers and sisters.
   Those same eyes that now looked upon her and her plastic infant with fear and mistrust. Even her friends, Beatrice Darvy and Grizelda Orr, standing next in line respectively, looked upon her with a scantily subdued revulsion. Her hopeful smile outwardly faded as she lowered her arm and her head and walked down the side aisle back to her seat. But as she settled into the pew, she cradled the doll close to her. She could hardly keep her eyes from it, barely raised them to see the plain, white porcelain mask Beatrice had received, or Grizelda’s glass eye. And she was not the only one.
    She bowed out of conversation apologetically to the few who tried to speak to her after the service, wanting to hurry to her house, to secret herself away with her treasure. At home, she sat in the privacy of her bedroom and ran her fingers along its plump curves, stroked its dark hair, the cheeks of the feminine face. Evelyn looked into its painted green eyes and knew her name was January. Those painted green eyes that seemed to be looking back at her. She thought she understood. She thought she could do it. She could prove she would be a fit mother, prove it to Beatrice, to Grizelda, to all of them. She would show the White Elephant how much love she could give a child, how much she deserved it.
   In the weeks that followed, she braved the apprehensive looks of the customers at Horlocker’s General and of the Horlockers themselves as she purchased baby clothes, a crib and a used perambulator. She ignored the gawking of members of the congregation as she rocked her baby in church. Sometimes January cried and Evelyn did her best to quiet her. She woke with her at night and nursed her back to sleep, dreaming that she felt hungry lips quivering at her nipple, the cool plastic softening to flesh.
   Evelyn took every opportunity to show what a good mother she was, often mothering in public as much as in private, so that others might see. All over town folks saw her reading to January, singing to her, cuddling her close and cooing her or gently scolding her when she knocked something over or mischievously threw her rattle. 
   Still, she must have been doing something wrong. She hadn’t been called again for Communion and rumors were starting to spread. She had suspicions that Grizelda might be in on it, but she ran home crying the day she overheard the awful things Beatrice was whispering with some of the other sisters about how she “must not be taking very good care of that baby”.
   Evelyn began to grow frustrated and ashamed. She was doing everything she could, everything a good mother would, but more and more she felt shunned, contempted. She watched the Reverend’s eyes admonish those returning to receive, those whose goals had been achieved and were ready for the next step. And she saw how he looked at her with that odd pity, especially when she tended to January. As if he was deaf to her cries, blind to her spitting up.
   Her endurance was slowly giving out. She could barely tolerate the constant whispering that followed her. It hurt. It made her angry, made her want to lash out at them. But she knew they couldn’t see how hard she had tried to care for the baby. They weren’t there when January cried inconsolably into the wee hours. They didn’t know how difficult it was to anticipate her needs, her wants. They didn’t have to deal with her unresponsiveness or her needless, unblinking, want-for-nothing stare, so mocking and ungrateful. They didn’t know how it cut her when those eyes seemed defiant, like she didn’t realize all her mother had done for her. They couldn’t possibly understand how bad her heart ached for those baby toes to wiggle, for a smile, a breath.
    One night Evelyn could no longer stand it. She had sat on the floor of her kitchen, staring at January in her high chair. For four and a half hours, just staring. Growing a garden of rage in the heartless plastic soil of her face. That stupid, vacant expression, the mute idiot’s whistle of the pursed lips, as if to belittle her. Ooh, Mommy’s mad. Evelyn gritted curses at the thing through her teeth.
   “Why don’t you move? Why don’t you breathe? Why don’t you love me?”
    Evelyn stood finally, suddenly and grabbed the doll beneath the arms, shaking it, screaming at it.
    “You don’t even care do you? You never did! You’re not a baby! You’re not real! You’re just junk! Just plastic junk!”
   And she was surprised at how hard she had thrown the thing against the wall, horrified at how its brittle plastic had shattered. What had she done? How could she have done what she had? Her throat tightened with a moan and her mouth fell open from the pain of the tears to come as she looked at the plastic shards still wobbling around the small, ruined body. Her face fell deeply into her hands and she cried herself to sleep on the floor in the thralls of her failure.
   In the morning, she gathered the remnants of her lifeless child into a shoe box, worrying over every tiny piece. She felt like a husk, all of her dreams of ideal and wonderous motherhood had been hollowed from her. How could she face them now, knowing how they would look at her? And after such deep want, what might the penance be for what she had done? She thought of gluing January back together, pretending nothing had happened, lying, hiding. But she knew she could not hide from the White Elephant. It could see into her heart. She would have to own up to what she did. Though even her clothes felt heavy with defeat, Evelyn forced herself to get ready for church.
   No one was about as she walked down June Street, pitifully clutching her child’s cardboard coffin to her chest. Service had already begun and she was late. The bells sounded the start of Communion and though she was tired, sore and in dread of her penance, she hurried to the Church. The last of the ringing was dying out as she reached the front steps. She hugged the box tightly and said a silent prayer before gently pushing open the large, wooden door. Try as she might, she could not keep it from creaking. There was no sneaking in. The eyes of every brother and sister were on her as she entered humbly bowing her head. As she glanced about their faces, expecting scowls and shock, instead she was met with respectful smiles and looks of approval. The air was intoxicatingly light and Evelyn wandered with small steps, looking at their faces, confused and unsure even if she should sit.
    A brief angelic trumpeting issued from the White Elephant, drawing the attention to the pulpit at the front of the Great Hall. Then Evelyn heard the Reverend Godwell’s voice. Calling her name. Calling her, to take her place at the front of the line.

The House on Cutter Lane

                        

    Lake was listening the night his baby sister was being made.  They thought he was asleep, but he could hear them doing it.  He heard the names Pa called Mama, words that he wasn’t quite sure what they meant at the time.  He could hear Pa screaming.  They both were making scary, ugly sounds.  He didn’t even know people could make sounds like that.  He lied there awake in his bed, pushing hard against his thing with his hands, trying to keep it down, but it just wouldn’t go.  Other than that, he tried to stay as still as he could, listening, watching.

     That was the first night Lake saw the snakes in the walls.  Swimming and slithering, in and out.  He was so scared, he didn’t know what to do.  Pa would’ve whooped him good if he had seen all them tears rolling down his face.  His eyes were stinging something fierce, and his throat was so filled with snot that he thought he might choke, but he didn’t move.  If he moved, those snakes might see him.  If they saw him, they might get him.

     After that, when he’d be listening in on Mama’s bridge club talking about which of the menfolk from town had been out to see "it”, seemed Mama didn’t want to talk much about it anymore.  They had been meeting at the Laughinghouse home every Thursday for as far back as Lake could remember and he’d have had the belt taken to his butt for sure if they ever knew he was spying on them.                                                 

    From what he could tell, they didn’t really play bridge that often.  They’d lay the cards out in case Pa came home, but mostly they just told tales about the house on Cutter Lane and “that thing” that was supposed to live in the cellar. Spitting twice at every mention.  Lake had never seen women spit so much.  Not to mention that these were women who prided themselves on being ladies. He figured it must have been another Churcher thing Mrs. Darvy or Mrs. Orr coaxed his mother into.

   They belonged to the Church of the White Elephant now and they were always trying to get Mama to go to a service, just to see. She seemed real interested at first, but Pa was against it. He didn’t like the way they knocked on the doors of folks, bothering them around suppertime. And Lake had heard him say that he sure as hell wasn’t worshipping no damned elephant.

   Mrs. Orr said they didn’t worship the Elephant, but that it showed them things. It showed them how to keep their feet on the path of righteousness and how important it was to stay away, to keep others away from things like that house of ill repute.

   The kids at Lake’s school told tales about the house, too, though not with as much certainty, whispering the word “whorehouse” like it meant  haunted or cursed. But Lake knew there were more secret reasons the adults wanted them to stay away from that place, reasons that had to do with her, the one Mama’s bridge club was always talking about.  The one they called Pussyface (spit twice).

     It was said that she used to be part of the freak show in the Wandering World Carnival, and came to live there in Hatry when the carnival split up. Lake had vague memories of the strange circus of the funeral procession, that spring morning the carnies had returned the body of Mathias Wandering to Hatry. He was only three at the time and if there were freaks of any sort, he could not remember them. They must have been in cages or had their deformities hidden. He remembered many people in heavily hooded robes. He saw solemn acrobats and sorrowful clowns. He had seen the White Elephant that day. And he remembered the White Elephant seeing him.

   The carnival ended its tour in the town where Mathias Wandering began it. Many of the carnies took up residence there and soon became pillars of the community. Sarnhim Godwell, later the Reverend Godwell, bought the old town hall and turned it into the Church, claiming he had learned the Truth. Him and his group were hard working and well respected, promised to build a new schoolhouse and swayed many of Hatry’s townsfolk to their way of thinking.

   But some of the other carnies weren’t as welcome. No one wanted uglies and retards as neighbors. Those that, after significant ridicule, eventually followed Madame Lareux, the fortune teller, to the outskirts of town, came to settle into the house on Cutter Lane. They said she took in the clowns and the freaks, that she took “her” in, that thing. Seems Madame Lareux pitied her for her strange face, and because the carnies just kept her in a cage, like any of the other animals, with only hay to sleep on.

   Lake got the feeling that his Mama’s friends thought that even that was too good for her.  And Mama used to curse her just as much, spitting right along with them.  After that night in his room, though, the night he heard them, the night he saw the snakes, everything changed. Lake knew the ladies must’ve started suspecting something wasn’t right as Mama got quieter and quieter about it over the next few meetings. The other ladies would give a few spits, but it wouldn’t be long before Mama would seem to want to change the subject.

     They didn’t say nothing about it at first, but he heard them whispering to each other when Mama would go get drinks from the kitchen.  Lake couldn’t hear most of what they said, but what he did hear hinted that his Pa was one of the men who had been out to see “it”.  Maybe more than once.  Lake didn’t like them talking that way.  He wanted to tell them that they were wrong, that his Pa wouldn’t do that to Mama.  But he didn’t.  He swallowed his anger down and kept his mouth shut.

     The next Thursday they didn’t come over.  Or the next. Mrs. Darvy and Mrs. Orr, came by early in the next week to fetch some things they had left at the house.  Lake’s mother sent him to his room, but he just went around the corner and listened.  He heard his Mama ask why they hadn’t been by.  They said things were different now, said that she was different, that her eyes were changing.  She asked them what in Sam Hill they were talking about, but that was all they would say.  They gathered their things and they left.  Just before the screen door slammed behind them, he heard Mrs. Darvy whisper to his mother that she would pray for her.

     It wasn’t long after that Mama found out she was pregnant.  She’d been getting sick in the mornings and he’d taken to fixing up his own lunches for school.  He was starting to get real worried about her, but he was glad to hear old Doc Framhein say that it was just her being with child that was the cause of it.  "Must’ve been quite a spring" he’d laughed. “Women all over town are knocked up!”

   Mama wasn’t so happy about it, though.  She cried and cried when he gave her the news.  It didn’t seem to affect Pa at all, not in a good or a bad way. He just kind of smiled this smug, half-flat smile, like it wasn’t even news to him.

     He started working late at the steel mill and it got to where they hardly saw him anymore. He was gone when his son got up for school and Lake was in bed by the time he got home. That isn’t to say he was asleep. He heard his father stumbling in several times, knocking things over, singing and humming these little songs. Lake had only ever heard him like that when he was drunk, so he assumed that’s what he was.

     After a while Lake felt like he was the only person who lived there. Pa weren’t never home and Mama didn’t seem to care much about anything. She seemed so lost in thought all the time. She stopped asking him about school or what his grades were. He’d try to talk to her, but he could tell she wasn’t really listening.  Made him kind of sad, but he never told her.  Then she took to looking at the walls. She brought down the pictures and the mirrors off them so they were just bare. Sometimes she’d pick a wall and just sit and stare at it for hours. Not doing nothing. Just staring. Like she was watching something out the window.

     He’d get up in the mornings, go through the day at school, come home, and she’d still be sitting there in the same spot. Like she hadn’t moved an inch all day long. When she was in that way, he could walk right up to her and she wouldn’t even notice him, until he was close enough to touch her. Lake thought he might try to get a jump out of her a couple of times, but she always turned her head and her eyes to him so slow.  Except the once when he asked her if she was watching for the wallsnakes. She turned on him quick that time.

     "What’d you say, boy? What’d you say? What do you mean 'wallsnakes’, boy? Answer me!“

     He fessed up to how he’d seen them in his room, that night as he was listening to her and Pa. How they moved in and out of the walls, but there weren’t no holes. How he’d just layed there, too scared to move. She looked at him like he was puking on her. Then a queer thing happened. Her gums started to bleed. Lake watched a little red trickle crawl down his mother’s tooth and drip onto her bottom lip. She covered her mouth and headed for the washroom, yelling at him to go outside. He followed her, trying to ask her what was wrong.

     "Damnit, boy, I done told you to go out and play, now git!”

     He went out and sat on the front porch for a while and just got to thinking. Thinking about what all had been going on, what was wrong with Mama?  About the strange way his folks both were in. Wondering why exactly it was that Mama’s bridge club didn’t come around anymore. Turning over and over in his head all the stories he’d heard them tell about. All the talk about the shunned house on Cutter lane. The evil “it” that lived there, in the cellar. Wondering just how bad of a whoopin’ he’d get if he went out there to see about the way things really were. Pa used to say that sometimes a man has to do things for himself, else they won’t get done. Mama told him to go out. He hopped on his bike and was riding down June Street before he’d even really made up his mind.

     Lake wasn’t quite sure where Cutter Lane was at exactly or if he’d know 'the house’ when he saw it. When he was little, his Grandpa spoke of it having been carved from a single, giant tree. The tree that gave this town its name.  Lake had never believed him, but they were good stories. He careened his bicycle up this street and down that one until it seemed he wasn’t even in town anymore. He started passing tarpaper shacks and rotted, old, grey barns and the scruffed faces of folks he’d never seen in town, not even at Horlocker’s General. In dirt yards, he saw kids playing that weren’t much younger than him. But none of them went to his school, which was still the only school house until Oatsfield.

   The sky smelled pregnant with rain.  A stale, smoky scent that curled into his nose, weaving itself between peppery tendrils of violets and witch grass.  He was starting to feel awful lost and was having thoughts about maybe turning back, not being real sure that he even wanted to find the place.

     Pa says it goes that way, sometimes.  That you can’t ever seem to find what you’re looking for until you give up looking.  Then it’ll find you, just like that rickety, old signpost found his boy.  It was all full of little holes, like somebody had been shooting it through with buckshot.  Lake saw the worms when he got closer though.  Inching over it, eating at it, making their homes in the thing. He watched them for a bit, but they kind of turned his stomach.

   He looked around and thought to himself “Last chance to turn back.  You can still make it home in plenty of time for supper.”  But, he hadn’t paid much mind to the way he had taken to get there and figured Mama probably wasn’t cooking nothing anyhow.  So, off he pedaled over the little wooden bridge that marked the beginning of forbidden Cutter Lane.

     It started as a decently smooth road, but it crumbled slowly into gravel, then into a wide dirt path, broken up here and there by outstretching roots. The down hills were a lot more fun than the up hills, and the worst part of the road was so bumpy and full of ruts that it made him even more queasy.  When, after about a good half hour or more’s ride, He finally stopped to rest, his legs were all wobbly and he could barely stand.  His guts were still shaking and he thought he might throw up.  He rested for a minute or two, choking dusty air into his parched lungs.  Thinking how he hadn’t even seen a shack for miles, wishing he had brought some water, wondering if he’d come all this way for nothing.

   For the first time he took in a real look at his surroundings, more than just a skimming glance looking for the house. That’s when he noticed that something was wrong with the trees.  They weren’t like the sort of regular trees he was used to seeing around Hatry.  They were thicker, more bent.  All crooked and full of knots.  They weren’t spaced right, either.  They were too close together, like they were crowding each other for room.  Some of them even seemed to be growing through each other.  Maybe that was why, despite their size, they looked so gray and unhealthy.  He found no shame in his being somewhat afraid of them. They looked as if at any second they would just uproot themselves and come shambling after him, reaching for him with their clawed, twisted branches.

     Lake heard a rumbling noise echoing through the woods, like his fears coming to life.  It started closing in on him, but coming  from up ahead, slowly mixing itself with the sounds of crunching gravel and of metal grinding against metal.  He saw Mr. Orr’s car come over the crest of the hill, barreling down towards him. He barely had time to get out of the way before the car rattled right on past.  Mr. Orr had nearly hit him, but he didn’t even slow down. If he saw Lake at all, he wasn’t about to admit it.

     Lake watched his car disappear over the top of another hill, back towards town, wondering what purpose would’ve brought pious Mr. Orr out this way if it wasn’t the same as his.  His throat was gritty and dry, but his faith was revived.  He walked his bike hard up the hill from the direction Mr. Orr’s car had come, feeling a tad more confident that he didn’t have a whole lot farther to go.  As he walked over the crest of the hill, the forest ended abruptly in a wall of trees grown twisted around each other.  Beyond them laid a great, round holler with a steaming valley of grayed grass and yellowed ground in its belly.  He looked toward the center of that valley and knew instantly that he had found what he’d come to see.

     His grandpa had told all kinds of tales about the way this town started, about the Hate Tree, in the years before he died.  Huge, ugly thing, he said.  All sickly black-green, warted and wet.  Soft, he said.  Told Lake how the settlers of this town hated it.  Wanted it burned or chopped down, but no one would.  Stayed as far away from it as they could feel safe.  How they were afraid of it.  Built the town around it like they were trying to imprison it.  And how, a not long after Lake was born, somebody had carved a house out of it, only no one knew who.  Grandpa said that most folks in town assumed it must’ve been them carnival people what done it, since Madame Lareux came to live there and run it as a business.  For some reason, no one questioned her claim to it.

     He had been to that carnival once, he’d told Lake. Had his fortune read by the old gypsy herself.  He didn’t care for Madame Lareux at all.  He’d hinted that she told him some awful things.  Strange, dark times coming, she said.  Ruined his whole night.  Couldn’t  even enjoy the rest of the carnival, ended up leaving with his head full of vicious portents.  So, he said, it didn’t surprise him at all that she was keeping a  monster underneath that evil old tree.  That house on Cutter Lane.

     Lake stared at it, cradled down there alone in the heart of the valley, its limbs and branches drooping around it like diseased tentacles.  Watching it writhe in the wind below him, he could barely believe he was really there.  Not a kid in school had even lied about being this near to it before.  Boosted his courage to think that he was the first.  He knew he had to find a way to get close enough to it as to where he could investigate without being seen.

     He walked his bike, off the road, through the woods along the ridge, until he could see the back of the house.  He parked it at the top of the hill, thinking a kid’s bike might look suspicious laying around out there.  Supposed he’d have a better chance on foot.

     Down into the valley Lake ran, trying to find what cover he could.  There wasn’t much, a few tall, scraggly pie weeds here and there.  He was lucky, he figured.  No one was out on the grounds and he had a moment to take in the towering reality of this dreamy town legend.  And as he came to stand next to the trunken wall of its base, he felt himself gasp.  Seeing it that close up he knew, all the tales he’d heard must be true.  And none of them were enough to describe the way his every sense marveled, riddled by the monstrous abnormality.

   His fingers reached out for it, wanting to touch its smooth, fleshy bark and he wondered whether they would find anything, but air, dispersing the mirage altogether.  That was not the case.  It was soft, giving like a sponge under his fingertips.  Lukewarm, sticky and wet.  A strong rotten cherry sort of smell misted out from where he’d touched it, stinging his nose a bit. He took a couple steps back, and wiped his hand on his dungarees.  He looked overhead at the thick, slithery tangle of branches, looming, dancing above him, dwarfing him.  Too dizzying to look at for long.                  

   He brought his eyes down, steadied himself and walked to his left, along the house’s backside, exploring its deeply ridged, rooty exterior.  He thought he’d try peeping into a couple of windows, but they were all higher than he could get to.  He knew he’d slip and bust his butt if he attempted to climb.  If he got hurt, the jig would be up.  All his chances of seeing her would be blown.

     He was beginning to think he didn’t have much of a chance, anyway.  Weren’t like he could just waltz right inside.  He started walking back toward the other side, examining the house, considering his options, deciding that he didn’t have many.  He had almost made it back around to the front of the house when, at last, he saw a glimmer of hope.

     Up ahead of him.  A hole.  A small cavern, nestled in the “Y” of two large roots.  Lake was sure he could fit through it, if he was willing to risk those few extra steps that would lead him into plain view of anyone at the house’s front.  He leaned forward, trying to look down into it without being seen.  It seemed to have a real faint light deep inside and odd sounds echoed from way down.  Groans and grunts and sloppings like pigs, mostly.  Couple voices, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

     It didn’t matter.  They were all being drowned out by that same kind of awful rumbling he’d heard when Mr. Orr’s car had come up over the hill at him.  And he saw a car coming down Cutter Lane, into the valley.  But it wasn’t Mr. Orr’s.  It was Pa’s. Coming his way quick.  He saw the doorway closing on his opportunity.  He scrambled around to the hole, stuck his feet down in it and lowered himself in on his belly until only his eyes were above ground.  He saw Pa pull up and slam the car door as he got out, seconds after Lake was in the pit.  He started heading for the front of the house, but something made him pause.  Lake thought Pa might know he was there somehow and was stopping to look for him.  He didn’t stick around to find out.  He released his grip, flipped over and slid down into that grimy tunnel.  Away from his Pa and the daylight.                                                                                                                                

    He was stopped at the bottom by an earthen wall with a wide-bladed fan set into it.  A cellar wall, he told himself.  The cavern was tall enough for him to stand down there, almost straight. When he did, he could see what was on the other side of that wall, in between the three blades of that slow turning fan.

     The room was crowded with men.  Most of them were only half dressed, their backs to him.  Lake saw a few faces and some of them he recognized.  He knew there was a woman in there somewhere, but, at first, he could barely see her at all.  A swash of unhaired flesh here, a long, reddish curl where her head must be.  He started wondering if he was in the right part of the basement.  Then he heard one of the men say it.

     “You fucking, pussyfaced whore!”  After that he spit twice, on her Lake thought, but he couldn’t be sure. The men all looked dirty, slimy with sweat.  From their mouths spewed horrible, nasty words.  Some of them screamed like they hated her, like at any moment they might kill her.  But others muttered words quietly, under their breath, that sounded like prayers.

     The numbers of men were slowly getting smaller and he could see them taking their turns with her.  He could see more of her.  His thing started growing in his pants again, making him have to push it down against the wall.  Lake couldn’t understand why his Mama and her friends hated this lady so much.  Aside from what she was letting happen to her, he didn’t see anything so strange or horrible about her. He had seen naked women before.  He remembered taking baths with Ma when he was younger and he’d sneaked a look or two at the playing cards Pa had brought back from overseas.

     Then there was Carissa Darvy, Mrs. Darvy’s daughter.  The only girl in the sixth grade with breasts.  She picked on Lake all the time and he used to think she hated him.  Until she took off her shirt one time when they were walking home alone through the woods.  She asked him if he wanted to touch them.  Of course, he did, but he got scared and ran, afraid she’d see how hard his thing was and laugh at him.

     But this lady wasn’t laughing.  She just kept rocking back and forth.  One man would put seed in her, leave, and another would step right in to take his place.  It reminded Lake of something he’d heard when they used to go to the old church, about how it’s better to drop your seed into a whore, than to let it spill on the ground.

     He did notice something was strange about her skin, but he couldn’t tell exactly what it was.  Like it was smoother than other women’s, or something.  Even through the purples, greens and yellows of her bruises, her skin seemed, somehow, unnatural.  She seemed  too delicate to be taking the pounding she was receiving, to be able to handle the doll-like way she was being tossed around.  A couple of times he heard cracking, like bones breaking, but if they were hers, she never let on.  Even when they kind of crumpled her and he could see broken parts poking under her skin, she just kept bucking and rocking right up until the last set of men had their way with her.

     The last one to spill his seed was the one in her mouth.  Lake was sorry to have seen him so clearly. The man layed his hand on her face as he pulled his spent penis from her.  He raised her head to look at him and, for the first time, Lake realized that she was missing her nose.  The man looked down into her eyes for a long moment before shoving her by her head, toppling her off her hands and knees.  She landed hard on the clay with a heavy, wet thud.

     Lake still hadn’t gotten a good look at her face.  Her long, wet curls were covering her features.  Her hair was like strands of tightly coiled copper, contrasting, so vividly, with her ash pink skin.  She looked as though she’d never seen the sun.  He wondered how long she had been in this basement.  Did she ever go outside?  Or even upstairs?  And who catered to her?  The only furnishings in the bare walled room were a pile of hay and a bowl of water in the far corner, from what he could see.  Didn’t anyone care about her?  Would no friend or kin ever come to take her from this place?

   He heard the men climb stairs he could not see as he watched her lie there, limp, unmoving.  Watching her bruises shift and crawl over her body, before fading completely.  Watching, in awe as her ribs unstuck themselves from her skin, fit themselves back into place.

     She just laid there, shivering, lolling her head back and forth, making pitiful sobbing sounds.  Lake thought she was crying.  As her hair started to fall away from her face, he didn’t think that anymore.  What he saw made him take in a quick breath of muddy air and his skin break out in a shudder of horripilation.

     She didn’t have a nose.  In its place were puffy folds of pink, glistening flesh.  They trailed down to what might have been her mouth, but was really just a toothless hole, gummily sucking at the air from between her flabby, vertical lips.  And the longer he listened to the noises she made, the less they sounded like sobs of despair.  Instead, there seemed to be a gurgling laughter filling the room with its awful, jellied slopping.  

     Suddenly, she was up on her hands and knees again, as if she had been pulled up by some invisible hand.  And for the first time, Lake saw 'it’ walk.  Or crawl really.  But, the way she moved, as though there were strings attached to her, leading her to her bed of hay like a marionette.  Her head swayed with her movements, like it wasn’t quite fastened right to the rest of her.

     His initial thoughts that she looked like a regular person had been wrong.  He began to wonder if she was just deformed, or if she was human at all.  He was sensing things about her, vague things he couldn’t account for.  His head started feeling sort of light and dizzy.  His stomach was suddenly going weak and his mouth was filling with saliva.  His erection was long gone and his nuts crawled up inside of him to hide. He could feel the vomit boiling in his belly and he knew that at any second, his cover would be blown.  He started feeling very unsafe, found himself wishing he had never come here.

     And then she made a noise.  From those strange, alien, yet unbearably familiar lips came a sound that was horrible and wet.  Like the last thought of the drowned, that last, choking cry for help.  The one that steals the final breath.  It was that sound that bent Lake and loosened the contents of his stomach, splattering them onto the filth crusted floor.  He stood quickly, peering through the fan to see if she had noticed.

   She was looking at him.  And, at last, he saw her eyes.  Her terrible, beautiful eyes.  Fool’s gold, reflected in the sun, with the pupils of a goat. Bringing images, hollow, consumptive visions of the awful rot, to flood and flash through his mind like memories.  But they weren’t his memories.

     He saw a city.  A dark, stifling city, who’s only light seethed from some mottled, indefinite point.  Hideous things moved slowly through the streets.  No faces.  No eyes.  And the buildings were alive.  Towers, writhing into the sour, yellowed-black sky, with walls of snakes and slugs and worms.  Octopus things pushed their tentacles into one another’s flesh and lapped up and wallowed about in flowing streams of the city’s rancid, golden blood.

     Lake saw her there.  Convulsing amidst a thousand eels, biting at her, swimming into her filthy, slime-ridden anus.  He saw vile grotesque things enter her vagina, leave dry, flaky seeds into the clusters of gelatinous, fatty eggs inside her. He saw wretched, malformed children, some with a blasphemous, ugly resemblance to human babies, born from the hole in the monster’s face.  They mewled to her to suckle them.  And when she ignored them in her bliss, some slithered, flopped and hobbled into the streets.  Hoping for a bit of mother’s ink from a large breasted, gray squid.  Others sucked up whatever mucus they could from the serpents that fathered them.  And others still, slipped through the cracks, buried alive in a mass of wriggling worms, with only slime to breathe.  While she went on bathing in the spastic pleasure of breeding, without a moment to pause.

     Lake couldn’t break his eyes from her stare.  And he could feel his eyes beginning to die.  His soul felt yellow and sick.  The visions of the city began to subside, fading in the patches of black moving before his deadening sight.  Lake thought he was going blind.  All he could see was black.  But the black moved on and behind it was her face.  The fan moved slowly.

   She looked at him from just the other side of it then.  She was laughing at him.  He knew he couldn’t have imagined what a smile looked like on those lips until he saw it.  He could see deep into her repugnant throat as her laughter spread those lips apart.  White, frothy goo of the seeds of men dripped from her mouth like drool.

     He could smell her putrid, sweet breath, feel it’s gelatin heat coating his face, thickening the trailing sweat.  The skin of his cheeks and forehead started itching, like tiny bugs were crawling beneath it.

     The blade of the fan sliced through her breath, cooling his face sticky, blocking his vision.  When it passed, her back was to him.  As she crawled in her puppeteered way toward the opposite wall, back to her bed of hay, he could see her true vagina.  His stomach churned painfully.  From its lipless sides protruded six miniature, trunk-like tubes ending in puckered, sucking mouths, with long, silvery needled tongues, darting out like those of lizards or snakes, licking at her dripping holes.  

     She faced the wall opposite Lake and sat on her ankles, her hands still on the ground, like an animal.  She just stayed there for a while, staring at the wall, the way Mama does.  For a long moment he watched her, waiting to see if she would move.  The same fan blades must have passed him three times each, and still she didn’t budge.  Lake stood there, coming out of a fog in his brain, like he’d only just woken up.  As the next blade came down between the strange woman and himself, he decided it was time to go.

     He had begun to climb back out of the hole, when he heard a noise severe and repulsive.  The kind Grandpa would have said could “blight a crop, lame your best dog, and turn the milk quick and sure as it curdled your blood”.  Revolting and wet, like music made of slime, it called from lips Lake knew belonged to her.

     His blood thinned and paled, like diarrhea in his veins, as his widened eyes turned back to see.  A strange pumpkin glow filtered throughout the room.  The air changed, thickened, stagnated, choking the fan to a halt.  Souring, with cloying scents of foul cherries and bitter, rotting licorice.  Lake heard tiny chatterings of whiny, tittered laughter when he saw the first one.  Just a small stretch of black, like a dark worm unearthing itself in the rain.  As he saw it again and again, swimming through the wall as if it were congealed ditchwater, he felt like his guts were being burned away.

     It looped and curled like a serpent.  And it was something like a serpent, something like a fish, mostly like a bad dream.  It appeared to have a slippery, segmented shell like a millipede, or a pill bug.  That was the first one.  The others followed quickly.  The worms with starfished mouths, the eels, the squids.  The tentacled snakes, the plump, fat-mouthed tubes of veiny, festering flesh, puking ribbons of pus on one another, slickening their whole rippling mass in globs of inky slime.  In seconds, the wall was a writhing jumble of oily, shimmering, soft-bodied horror.  Chattering their awful, cacophonous laughter, worse than if a thousand cicadas had been shoved, living, into his ears.

     Through the slow quagmire of these wretched beasts came two cloven hooves with thin ankles covered in strands of snowy white.  Breasts covered in fine, pale hairs that seemed untouched by the grime.  They emerged from the walldwellers’ corruption holding hands with one another.  Their identical bodies so well formed, their wispy white hairs made them look so soft, inviting.  But their heads were long and strange with lush, full lips at the ends of their goatish muzzles.  The twins had “her” eyes, yet they looked somehow more correct on these weird women.

     They knelt at her sides, running their delicate, long fingered hands down the length of her body, petting her like a dog.  They leaned close to her face and she whispered damp things into their lopping ears.  They looked to the fan, through it, at Lake.  They stood and began walking toward him quickly, too quickly, threatening.  Their shivering faces lacked any sort of human expression, only the blind, awful stare of mad, idiot goats.

     He turned, starting quickly up the mucky tunnel wall, slipping, scrambling, pissing.  He kicked the wall beneath the fan and it gave under his foot like jelly.  He clawed into the earth, trying to escape whatever fate these things had in mind for him.  He kept sliding down, he couldn’t get out.  He couldn’t make it back up.  His ankle, something bit his ankle, tunneling in, trying to slice into the bone.  Lake looked to his feet.  Hundreds of hissing, chattering mouths and orifices, raspy little teeth clinching, in slug-like, greasy blacks and jaundiced deathly grays, crawling, slithering over each other, reaching for him.  He kicked and clawed, barely choking out blubbery screams.

     Somehow Lake made it out of that tunnel.  Somehow he made it back to his bike, and was turning down June Street before he realized he was out of that hole at all.  Maybe only then because of the quarter-sized dollops of rain that had begun smacking him in the face.

   He was afraid to look around.  He just kept riding, hoping not to see one more horrible thing.  He tried not to pay attention to how strangely the lightning bugs moved through that early evening.  Their witch-fires shaking, jiggling.  Laughing at him.  The whole world seemed to be mocking his sense of what once had been real. He just wanted to get home.  He wanted to tell his Mama about all the things he saw, to tell her that her and her friends were right about that lady.  That she was awful and ugly and evil, just like they said.

     But he couldn’t tell her.  He couldn’t tell anybody.  He wasn’t supposed to know.  He had no business being out there, doing what he did, or seeing what he saw.  He’d be picking his own switch for sure.

     Pa was home when he got there.  Mama was lying on the couch crying and he was kneeling beside her.  Lake thought he was comforting her, or trying to cheer her up.  He started to walk over and ask what was wrong, why Mama had her hands over her face.  But Pa wasn’t trying to make her feel better, at least, not the way he used to.  Lake didn’t know his father could pronounce the foreign oddities that chanted from his lips.  It sounded like he was praying.

     They didn’t seem to notice that he had come home and Lake decided it best not to draw attention to himself.  He didn’t place it immediately, but when he got up to his room, he could tell that something was different.  The bed.  His bed had been moved to the very center of the room.  He never asked them why.

     That night, he sat awake in that bed, staring, wearily watching the walls.  Listening intently to his mother’s muffled sobs from the next room and to his Pa’s steady chanting in time with the creaking of their bedsprings. Shadows played on the walls.  Many times he turned quickly on phantom snakes or faint sounds in the room as he absent-mindedly scratched at the ring of raised bumps on his ankle.  But they were only ghosts in his mind.

     As he began to nod off, slowly dipping in and out of consciousness, a movement outside the window snared his attention.  The moon was a good three quarters full.  He wished it hadn’t been so bright.  He wished he’d never seen what he had.  They were walking through his yard, about twenty feet from his house.  That vile, freakish whore was being walked through his yard by her goat women.

     Pussyface crawled naked on her hands and knees through the wet grass, pausing every few feet to dig a small hole, put her face to it, and fill it back in.  Not once did she look up, but the eyes of the goats that walked upright beside her never left him.  They stared their blank, emotionless stares as the moonlight danced and shimmered on their rich, golden eyes.  He watched them as they passed, but he never left his bed.  It was quiet in his parents room after that.  He sat awake listening until long after the sun came up.

     Lake doesn’t sleep much anymore.  Mama doesn’t either, since Pa left.  Just up and left, didn’t take his clothes or nothing.  Mama found a note on the table and Lake saw that she figured from it, he wasn’t coming back.  She didn’t want to show it to him, but he found it, later, in a drawer.  Lake thought, maybe it’d say something in it about where his Pa had gone or why he left.  He was wrong.  What it said was this:

                                                     The air is getting thick

                                                     The walls are getting thin

                                                     Save your spit, woman

                                                     It ain’t no use

   The note wasn’t signed, but it was definitely his father’s writing.  They haven’t talked much about him since then.  Mama’s still losing her teeth.  She doesn’t have many left, but Lake tells her she still looks beautiful.  She doesn’t look in the mirror much.  Mostly she just stares at the wall, like she’s waiting for something.

     She doesn’t know about the weird way her nose is growing a slow dent or how her top lip has taken to curling up in the middle.  But Lake is a good son and won’t tell her.  She has enough to worry about these days, with the baby and all.  His little sister, Julie, was born in a delicate condition.  Dr. Framhein said that she was lucky to be alive and that Mama should be grateful.  And Mama is.  She suckles her all day long, sitting there, just staring at the wall.

     Julie has a broken, choppy cry, but Mama doesn’t notice.  She just coos her, stroking the pale webbing of fine hairs that cover her tiny body.  Lake doesn’t say how Julie’s odd, yellowish eyes make him feel sad and sickly or the way Mama’s own eyes are clouding.  He can’t tell her how his baby sister bares certain, small resemblances to the strange women he saw with that pussyfaced whore in the house on Cutter Lane.  He never told her how he saw Pa there that day, how he was the last to leave.  And maybe he never will.  They just don’t talk about it.